Power Struggle
This is where people get stuck in their relationship, holding on for control over issues that may not even be important. It's about control in order to feel power. However, a person who feels empowered doesn't look for power to control others in their relationships. The number-one thing to remember is to enter relationships with people who are comfortable in their own skin and don't have to prove anything to feel significant. Many people never learn how to resolve conflict in a healthy way; it is a learned skill just like communication. It is imperative to be honest with yourself, aware of your feelings, insights, and perceptions in order to understand and be able to actively listen to the other person in the relationship. Many of us have become numb to conflict and shut down or withdraw from any type of confrontation. This type of personality often attracts someone who is controlling. The power struggle is about who is "right." If we are not aware of these stages we can stay stuck in a constant power struggle. The people who work through this stage move on to the next stage of Commitment and Compromise. What a great place to be!
It's important to evaluate the following areas at least:
Energy
We all vibrate at different energy levels as a result of our programming-both genetically and environmentally. That might sound a little odd, unless you're familiar with human energies; but think of this: Have you ever been around someone and said to yourself, "I just don't like his/her 'vibes.' He/she gives me the creeps." The individual that gives you "the creeps" really is giving off vibrations that do not line up with your energy vibrations. The mixture of the two energies is a bit like oil and water, which as you know, don't mix.
The important thing to note is that we are in control of our own energy and that is how we connect with other people.
The thoughts that you hold in your mind, the emotions that you dwell on profoundly, affect the "vibes" that you project in your relationships. Both casual and close relationships literally feel what is going on inside you. If you are in a difficult relationship with someone that you must continue to interact with out of necessity, begin to evaluate and perhaps change how you think about that person. Depending on how difficult the relationship is, you may need to concentrate on holding good, positive thoughts in your mind in order for the new energies to transfer to the other person.
Janie Behr is a qualified life coach specializing in helping people find their purpose, achieve their goals, and explore all the possibilities that life has to offer. She is available for private individual coaching, group coaching and public speaking engagements. She runs frequent teleseminars dedicated to helping people find and live their most positive lives! For more information please visit http://www.janiebehr.com
