Finding out that your spouse is a closet spender can be shocking and aggravating, especially if you are frugal and believe that debt management is essential. This happens to couples who have known each other for months before they tied the knot, as well as couples who have known each other for years.
If you suspect your spouse of spending too much dont wait to confront him or her about the situation. Marriages and families have been financially ruined because a spouse did not believe in debt management but rather the opposite – spend and dont worry about the consequences until they hit you like a two-by-four. And even then closet spenders usually wont admit to their problem.
There are many signs that will betray the closet spender, but you may have to put your inspectors cap on to find them. That means snooping around, but dont feel guilty because your spouse is probably not feeling very guilty about partially wiping out your finances and heaping debt upon your family.
The first thing to do is bring up anything thats bothering you about your financial situation. Just ask your spouse to sit down and have a discussion. If your spouse refuses or becomes angry press them for reasons why they wont talk and let them know its just a simple conversation. If they continue to reject you then you have your first sign.
Another sign is when your spouse brings home items, usually big ticket items, without discussing the purchases with you. If this occurs tell them that you want to be included in these types of purchases. If this it continues to happen then there is trouble.
Inspect your spouses car, the trunk and perhaps other places like an office or backyard shed for evidence of spending. Many spouses will indulge in heavy spending and then hide the evidence for a few weeks before openly using or wearing what they bought. In their minds its older now because they bought it weeks ago, but to you its still new because youve never seen it. And when you ask them where this stuff came from theyll respond by saying theyve had it for a while – you just never noticed.
Check with your creditors to find out if new lines of credit have been secretly opened. Some spouses open a few additional cards in their name, but theyve also have been known to use their spouses name, meaning you! And if you are not careful about debt management this additional spending could ruin your credit.
If you have found evidence or your spouse continues to repeat these signs of closet spending then its time for a confrontation. You have the right to know how your finances are being used, because out-of-control spending could debilitate your financial well-being, and impact your ability to save for retirement.
Its important to press the issue of debt management. If your spouse refuses to talk about it then youll have to take make drastic action moves such as opening up your own bank accounts and cancelling all credit cards that associate you with your spouse. Dont let your debt management skills be diminished, or destroyed. Take control care of your financial future.
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